the time has come for colds and overcoats

so it's basically fall, or fall weather at least. which means i have a conundrum for the next 2 or so months: suffer allergies and struggle to breathe, or take allergy meds and basically live the next few months stoned out of my mind. or sleeping. decisions, decisions. i already miss summer.

gutted

everything has been hitting me hard lately. the dreams, the case i was assigned at jury duty. then i unexpectedly broke down at blink during adam's song (which i have no trouble listening to at home). now all this stuff with dj am and they're saying it might have been suicide. it's everywhere i fucking look. it's a lie that it gets easier, it gets fucking harder (that's what she said). i still feel guilty. i'd give everything i'd ever known to go back in time 2 years to make one extra phone call.

the offer still stands... if you ever need to talk, at anytime, please call me. i don't care if it's 5am, it's not like i sleep anyway. i know we all have hard times, but if you could ever live with one day of the guilt i carry, i know you'd never consider anything that drastic.

also remember hopeline.com

sorry for the debbie downer post, but i had to get that out there
now onto another sleepless night...

same shit different day

hanging in... i was up for an amazing/long/good $$ tour and i didn't get it. been trying to cheer myself up with random adventures. for instance, last week seth green and gym class heroes came to wow skating rink. very interesting. this weekend was fitzy's birthday and that was a blast. leave it to the boys to cheer me up. last night pat realized we've been friends for 19 years now. talk about a mind fuck. now tomorrow i have jury duty and i feel like that's just going to be a barrel of fun. in short life is crappy these days, but it's the little things that make it tolerable. like bouncing souls weekend. psyched!

sorry blog

such a blog slacker i've become. maybe because it's just been a whole lot of the same going on. going to warped tomorrow, which is cool and frustrating since i thought i had that locked down months ago. this will be my 10th anniversary. ironically i won my 99 tix from y100, possibly from someone who's now an amazing friend. warped 99 really was my big eye opener and changed a lot of things for me. the first time i ever saw blink, the bouncing souls, less than jake, pennywise, h20, etc etc etc. but anyway. there's a lot of shit in the lineup this year and i'm sure i will feel old and cranky but i refuse to be one of those people who's all "oh i'm sooo old for this". then guess what, stay home. ignore all the drum tracked shit and go see bad religion.

maybe we're the lucky ones, cause we can choose to turn it off

ahh i love songs that still make your heart skip and stomach drop no matter how many times you listen to them. the loved ones' "the odds" is def in my top 5 forever. the first and last lines alone make that song perfection. why is that band not bigger?

(and for the record, their cover of coma girl is also a++... and i'm really picky about clash/joe strummer covers)

heart to heart

last weekend we held yet another epic party at 314. a very old friend showed up and we got to talking. another mutual friend just turned 25 and was having a total meltdown about not being "married with babies". what is that all about anyway?? that is the last thing on my mind. as my birthday approaches, my biggest desire is for another bunk on a tour bus. i think i was born without the girly romance and wedding and baby gene. no thanks. facebook has provided a constant reminder of high school "friends" (i use the term lightly because i basically hated everyone there but they've all decided to add me on facebook as of late, whatever) are having epic weddings and babies and whatnot. and i mean, good for them. whatever makes you happy. i just still feel light years away from all of that, if ever. but back to said party friend, apparently we were the only people at the party who had no desire for relationships and cohabitation and babies. so at least i know now that one day when i am old and gray i still have a partner in crime. good times.

"that's a dealbreaker, ladies!"

how old is too old? my friend, who is 25, was about to start seeing this guy but found out he was 40. i was on the fence with the situation, trying with that whole "age is just a number" reasoning but i can't think of what i'd do if i were in her situation. so what is the cut off point?

the search begins...

so i was flipping thru the pink clash book today again and came across something i hadn't seen before. apparently mick jones dated this chick ellen foley for a while in the early 80s. she was the girl who sang with meatloaf on 'paradise by the dashboard light' with meatloaf. anyway, mick produced her 1981 album spirit of st louis and i guess him and joe wrote most of it, and they and paul even played on a lot of it. the book even referred to it as "practically a proper clash album without joe singing.". just when i think i have everything, haha. so be on the lookout, vinyl ppl. i need this!!!

back

mini-tour went well. worked with some great people. hopefully will get to work with them again sometime. it was a nice change from van to bus. i'm spoiled now. speaking of spoiled, now that i actually have some money, i am trying hard not to spend it. gonna try to limit it to some new clothes, and i might have already pre-ordered punch-out for wii... maybe. but i couldn't help it. oh and i am in desperate need of an epic night out. i feel like it's been ages. philly you are being put on warning. this weekend... yeaaaa. ny, you are next.

but the touring bug is def back. gonna make some calls this week. fingers crossed.

so frustrated... no longer

hey so i AM goin on tour tomorrow. wooohooo. got the call tonight. off to connecticut in the am... rescheduling ny and south philly adventures... and i'll have some money next week. score!

bamboozle

so after partying way too hard thurs night at alk3 (bon came down and we decided to act like we were 16??), i woke up early fri to see no doubt on the today show. a few minutes later i got a call to work bamboozle. this wasn't confirmed til about 12 hrs later, so i found myself on a train to hoboken to stay with losie at 11pm. after maybe 3 hrs of sleep on the floor, we were off to the meadowlands. got to work with some cool people and make some decent money. i had decided to skip going this year because the lineup wasn't particularly great, but i was really bummed about missing the get up kids reunion, since i've heard mixed things on whether they plan on touring or just hitting up the festivals. so i took my saturday 'dinner break' (they didn't feed us and we had to shell out $ for shitty festival food) during tguk. amazing! the little neon-wearing kids went into hiding or wandered to a side stagte or something for a glorious 40 minutes and the set was amazing. i wasn't really dying to see anyone else that i hadn't just seen (new found, syg). once the side stages closed down we could really hear the headliners tho so i got to hear third eye blind (fuck yea), face to face, tbs (still terrible. i have never ever gotten the appeal of that band - sorry chrissy) and NO DOUBT. amazing.

highlights included:

- waking up at 5:30am saturday to losie blasting motley crue as i tried not to murder him
- seeing a bunch of people i love. i must have texted "merch booth by the ferris wheel" 20 times
- being called a fucking bitch only one time! sorry but you can't return a hoodie you've been wearing in the rain all day
- watching all the guys hit on girls and then wondering if they were 18 or not.
- as stated, THE GET UP KIDS. amazing.
- some kid getting all his bottom teeth knocked out during face to face. he was in such shock, he just wanders up, goes "how bad is it?" and opens his mouth as blood pours out. i hope he is ok.
- watching everyone wander up after gwar. gross.
- being right next to the dunk the clown. this was the clown that was on oz fest for 10 years. he was incredibly awful. every time a black person walked by, he would say "aren't you at the wrong show?" and play 50 cent. indians, jews, gays.. no one was safe. he kept playing the barney the dinosaur theme song and it took me til midway thru sunday to realize it was because everyone was wearing purple hoodies ala cobra starship. i was not sad to say goodbye to him.
- the girl from disney channel, demi lavato, HAS. A. VOICE. goddamn.
- number of girls that lost their flip flips and requested plastic bags as makeshift shoes: 4. if you are gonna wear flip flips to a 12 hr festival, in the RAIN, don't go anywhere near anything resembling a "pit". just a thought.
- whatever "hollywood undead"is, they need to go away and never, ever return.
- seeing exactly one hot dude (not in a band) who looked of legal drinking age. sigh.
- bringing a stereo on sunday and blasting gaslight to drown out the clown.
- being a little bit less broke now.

up soon: merch faq/dos and don'ts. it's a long time comin.

lay perfectly still... this won't hurt

MRI was not so bad... got to listen to the phils the whole time, and what a sick game. it was hard to lie completely still during those grand slams. i think my ankle will be radioactive soon...apparently there's a small fracture tho. they might wanna cast me. fuck my life. gotta live it up for now tho. decided to go to the phillies game tomorrow with phil (hold on to the'told you so's for now). pumped for alk3 on thurs, apparently it's gonna be a bigggggg reunion. also ppl are last minute trying to talk me into bamboozle. i'm not really feeling it tho.

BUT can we talk about the cops arresting all those bands at the bamboozle road show at the tla last night?? those youtube vids are crazy. is anyone really surprised at the cops tho?? i've been dealing with that shit comin out of the tla for 10+ years. and i once came THISCLOSE to being arrested for handing out flyers for y100 there once. seriously! fuck those guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AbzUspUWQg&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09Lu7Lu5Dlk&feature=player_embedded

owwwwwwwwwwwwww

anthony raneri posted this saying it was a cool tattoo. now i guess the idea is cool (love that self titled logo) but the actual execution is horrible and the one underneath probably just cancels it out anyway.



in other news i almost lost a finger today. ok it was not that bad BUT.. you know when you hurt yourself and for the first few seconds you're not sure how bad it is? i was totally scared to look. almost went to the hospital for stitches but decided against it. but since i'm allergic to neosporin and i can't remember when i last had a tetnus shot i might go get it looked at because i have insurance for a few more weeks. gotta bleed that shit dry.

and in the good daughter category, i'm taking my mom to xpn tomorrow to see kevin bacon's band. my mom looooves him, she met him when he filmed a movie in the northeast a few years ago. he used to come to bbs alot too. lucky for my mom the yrock studio connects to the dressing rooms, haaaaa.

so pissed i got screwed out of seeing save the day/alkaline tomorrow. may go to ny sat to see i am the avalanche at ak. and if i stay in philly tomorrow there's always the ataris at the khyber... ponder that for a second!!!!

AND WHAT IS THE STORY WITH THIS BLINK VIDEO???!!!??

you've got a friend in pennsylvania

interesting story

so i went to new found last weekend with chrissy. hung out in the balcony bar during bayside and met these 2 dudes. seemingly cool dudes, did the whole drinks and chit chat thing for a good while, from right after syg until at least midway through bayside. we were even talking about hanging out with them after. THEN the one dude said something more than minorly homophobic. i made some passing comment like "oh lovely, dude" to which he responds "whatever. i hate fucking fags" and keeps it goin from there. ohh ummm, chrissy it's time for a cigarette break?? sure let's go... the best part was he couldn't figure out why i was so turned off. i told him i had a gay brother and at that point he apologized for "offending" me. i don't have a gay brother -- i don't have a brother -- but should i need an excuse to be offended? i have a hard time keeping my opinions to myself sober but after a few drinks, forget it. i have zero fucking tolerance for homophobes, racists and the like. figures - cool, nice-looking dudes that wanna take us out and they like new found?? must be some flaw. at least i found it fast. chrissy and i enjoyed our drinks inside the troc bar after that.

speaking of being drunk, for some reason i thought it was a really good idea to drop 35$ on a goddamn pullover hoodie at the end of the night. ohh you take visa, here you go. i dunno what the merch split at the troc is but they have house venders so it's probably high (i know, i KNOW, but i always looked the other way and fudged the numbers. damn the man.) at least the hoodie is a spectacular shade of purple.
'

new found dreaming

so this is how ridic my dreams are.

me and chrissy (chrissy and i) are at new found, but like an old new found show... at the tla and we're right on the barricade. we're singing into the mike, the whole deal (side note... i really need to dig out my old pics, i know there's some jems of me and jordan circa 2000 in the back of my closet. i wish everything was digital back then. but i digress) so it's the last song and jordan asks me what i want to hear. i say ballad for the lost romantics... so they go into it... but it's not that song. it's no song i've ever heard. i look over at chrissy and she's singing away. i'm like "what the hell, this isn't it". she looks at me like i have 3 heads and screams "yes it is" then goes back to singing along. i look at the guy next to me, also singing along. at this point, i'm the only person in the place that doesn't know the words. eventually, chad stops the show to have me escorted out. yea. i think it was basically the musical dream equivalent of showing up to school without your clothes on.

(ms rock - i knew you'd really appreciate this one)

wfc

i can't believe it's been 5 months since rushing back to philly "after 3 wins", game 5 (and 5.5), going insane at frankford and cottman, and the parade down broad street. i don't care where i live, there is nothing like philly enthusiasm (tho sometimes misguided or misunderstood) and i don't think i will experience anything quite like being in philly last fall. and now i'm back here, stuck longer than i have intended... and it's really bittersweet and frustrating. but these past few months here have reminded me how much i missed it here, whether i realized it at the time or not. and hopefully things will pick up for me soon, but until then at least i'm here and not stuck in like nebraska or something. spring makes me optimistic. let's see how long it lasts. now who's gonna take me to a phillies game??

we came to dance

sometimes i become irrationally paranoid that the isight camera on my macbook is secretly recording me. like just now... steve from new found posted acceptance's "take cover" on his blog. gooooood song. i just listening to that 3 times and had myself a little sing-a-long. then i happen to look down and see the lense and think "what if"...

but hey... GASLIGHT. amazing show. lv boys came in, losie came down, the band KILLED it. saw about a million awesome people i have known over the years, drank til last call and then some and woke up sunday without so much as drymouth. it's not too often i leave the upstairs area (yea in PA the bar has to be separate, sorry losie, don't forget your id next time), or go into what could be considered "the pit" much anymore, but i think i had more fun than i have at a show in years, all very much worth it. winter show slump is officially over i think, alot of great stuff coming up. cannot wait.

left out...

so i really don't get the hype of 'where the wild things' are. well maybe it's not that i don't get it but i don't remember ever reading that book as a child. was it really that big of a deal? was i neglected?? i think i turned out ok... but everyone's been losing their minds over that trailer all day and i don't get it. maybe if they made or  into movies, i could join in the nostalgia. but for now i'm lost. 

same shit, different day

a whole lot of nothing to report,

so just enjoy the recently touched-up strummer mural

"let it out... you're doin alright."

Damn you, Bozo

So reading yahoo news i come across the story about the creator of bozo the clown passing away. I click on it, mainly because I was on the local version of the show as a child and my mom likes to break out the vhs to embarass me on occassion. the first line follows:

Alan W. Livingston, the music executive who created Bozo the Clown and signed the Beatles during his tenure as president of Capitol Records, has died. He was 91.

Whoa. Hold up. Now I guess Bozo is pretty cool, if you are under the age of 9. But this man signed the Beatles. This was possibly the single most important A&R move of all time. Really, he changed the face of American music. Apparently Capitol didn't want to bring the Beatles on in 1964, fearing their breakthrough single "I Want to Hold Your Hand" was "unsuitable for American audiences". Not only that but he signed the Beach Boys, and Frank Sinatra when he was left without a contract late in his career, leading to his comeback. The clown thing should have been a fucking afterthought. So RIP, Alan W. Livingston. I'm sure a ton of people skipped over your obit last week not realizing you were pretty much a music industry legend.